“Tea has taught me to love simplicity. There is a scam we play on ourselves, as individuals and as a species, that we need something to be complete. But we don’t. Our wholeness – our health – is inside us, and it is unadorned. Our lack is also in us, created by our mind. And you cannot fill an imaginary lack.”

— From the book Tea Medicine by Wu De (Aaron Fisher)

If you follow me on Instagram you might have noticed that I arrived from Taiwan and Hong Kong completely obsessed about tea and tea rituals. During the winter, I read dozens of articles about tea, watched dozens of videos about tea rituals, and served dozens of tea cups, mostly to myself. My – healthy - obsession did not pass unnoticed, and this summer my dear friend Claire gifted me this inspiring book called “Tea Medicine”.

What I love about a tea ritual is its reverence and proximity to nature. Tea sharing is simple and universal. And just like eating, the act of drinking is just as intimate. Less distracting too, and that’s what makes tea drinking and sharing such a beautiful way to be in the present, without being too abstract, like in a meditation.

Another book that I’ve read this summer was also a gift. When you are gifted a book called “You’re Not Listening” by someone you just started working with, your first thought is “I’ve hardly started working and I’ve already messed up”. But not if that someone is Paul, the kindest assertive person I’ve came across recently, maybe even ever. There’s no beating around the bush with Paul: he read this book, realized it carried an important message, one that might very well be at the core of all our problems when interacting with others, and it became his current most gifted book. For me, this book felt half informative half reprimanding (if the hat fits…, right?). On one hand, it made me really curious about the work of a handful of people like the physicist Richard Feynman, the qualitative researcher Naomi Henderson, the sociologist Howard Becker, and Parker Palmer, the founder of the Center for Courage and Renewal; on the other, it slapped me in the face by making me realize that while I tend to listen more than I talk – I’m a sound introvert – the quality of my listening was pitiful. Real listening requires the whole of you not just your ears. It asks for the same presence, concentration, attention and compassion that meditation does. Except instead of being aware of yourself, your body, your breath, your thoughts, you focus on the other.

And since we’re talking about listening, here’s a short list of the best podcasts I’ve listened to this summer:

On Being with Krista Tippet and Pauline Boss, Navigating Loss Without Closure

We all face losses, or will in the future, or know someone who has suffered from one. This is such an important conversation, which is not only about the ultimate loss, death, but so many other losses that happen in life.

Radioab, The Wubi Effect

A combination of technology and language in an episode about how the Chinese managed to successfully create their computer keyboards.

Tara Brach, Awakening from the Trance of Bad-Othering

Just like any other person I have my gifts and talents, and relating with other human beings is not one of them. I’m a struggling beginner at interacting with others, I suffer from misunderstandings more than I’d like to and I can’t seem to grasp how to navigate relationships. Listening to Tara Brach soothes me and her teachings help me understand myself and others better.

Have a glorious Monday and a delightful Equinox!